Waiting Room
At 7 this morning I took my car to get an oil change.
I sat in the waiting room with 25 other half-awake adults and we all tried not to make eye contact.
Most everyone had their computer out and had started their workday.
I did, too.
These emails won’t respond themselves.
At least that’s what I remind myself every weekday.
All around the waiting room you can hear the tapping of keyboards and phones buzzing and people answering calls with a loud whisper saying, “Hey! I’m at the dealership, everything okay?”
There were a few who weren’t staring deep into a screen.
A man with white hair and teal polo is reading the newspaper. I haven’t seen a newspaper since the last time I was here. He is scanning and nodding and all I can think about is that riddle from my childhood.
What is black and white and read all over?
A newspaper.
This guy looks like he knows a thing or two about stocks. And since I am judging, I can tell you right now that he has a tee time at 10 AM at the country club.
There is a lady, early seventies, sitting in a chair in the corner to my left. Her chin is resting in her hand as she looks out the window and into the dealership garage, watching the workers receive cars and speak with customers. She’s wearing a black hat that is bedazzled. It’s not Taylor Swift bedazzled, but 1992 bedazzled. She smiles at everyone who walks in. It’s one of those smiles that everyone needs to see at least once a day. To go along with her bedazzled hat is a teal cardigan. Teal must be the color of retirement.
I am wearing black.
There is a girl a few years younger than me sitting a chair over from me.
She isn’t wearing teal, but she does have on the kind of headphones that look like they are military issued.
They are big and bulky and can withstand a nuclear blast.
They block out every sound. I know this because there is a baby screaming next to her and she has not noticed. Her eyes have not left her phone. She’s been scrolling TikTok for 90 minutes. She hasn’t looked up or moved. Her face has stayed the same. Her right leg has been crossed over her left. She hasn’t taken a sip of water. I’m not sure she has breathed. She’s under the spell of the internet. We may never get her back.
I am not getting any work done.
The emails waiting in my inbox are not being answered.
I am too distracted by everything that is happening around me.
The waiting room has become the watching room.
Two men greet each other at the coffee station.
“What’s up, man?”
“What’s up, bro?”
Two unanswered questions is the entire conversation.
This is what our world has come to.
10 feet from me is a man taking up an entire table by himself. His hands are doing the work dance as they jump from his computer to his phone to his cup of coffee. Every few minutes he gets up to take a lap around the waiting room. He is not wearing teal, but he’s getting closer to the day. When he finally retires he is going to have a picture perfect smile, because I just watched him pop his retainer into his mouth.
Two tables down from the man who just popped his retainer in is a woman talking on speakerphone. I’m not sure why people do this. Not everyone needs to hear your conversation. Luckily, I do. It gives me something to write about. She’s talking with a local garden center wondering if they have any Brown Eyed Susans in stock. They do. You can see her thank the good Lord in her head.
Tik-Tok girl just pulled out a second phone and is now watching Tik-Tok on that phone. She has two phones for Tik-Tok. I am not a doctor but this cannot be healthy.
Like usual the oil change turned into something more. The mechanic just informed me that my brakes need fluid. I guess they are dehydrated. I’m also getting a brand new valve cover gasket. To be honest, I didn’t know I had one to begin with so this feels like a win. He told me how much all of this would cost and I asked him if I would one day be able to wear teal.
