Heaviness of the Holidays
For as wonderful as the holidays can be they are not a break from reality and we know that reality can be heavy.
Just because it’s Christmas doesn’t mean we forget what life has already unwrapped and presented to us.
Maybe you don't feel merry and bright.
Maybe you feel tired and overwhelmed.
I gotta admit - some days that’s how I feel.
Tired and overwhelmed.
I can’t seem to get enough energy and my to-do list doesn’t ever seem to stop growing.
Maybe it’s because I run a small business or decided to become a full-time writer.
God created me with more feelings than most and a brain that doesn’t seem to know when to shut off.
Not only do I have a brain that runs constantly, but I feel things deeply.
And right now it feel like life is heavy and all I really want for Christmas is a long nap or a week at an all inclusive resort in Cancun.
I’d like to sip Miami vice’s in the pool, read a book that makes me feel alive, and be nowhere near my phone.
Maybe I’ll do that come August, but for now it’s December.
A time when streets are lit with lights and 15 foot blow up Santa’s.
A time when we can eat cookies before 10 AM and it not be considered weird.
A time when we can remise and over indulge and try not to pass out when we sing angels we have heard on high.
But this is also a time for many when life becomes darker and more challenging.
The thrill of Christmas that once existed is no longer there.
These are now the days of navigating difficult relationships and returning to a place you once called home.
These are the days of wondering when it will be your turn - your turn to be the new parents, your turn to show off the engagement ring, your turn to bring home the significant other, your turn to be healthy, your turn to be celebrate and seen - your turn to not feel like you’re stuck, forgotten, or behind.
These are the days of sitting at tables with unmentionable tension and being seen as the person you once were and not the person you’ve become.
And these are the days of receiving gifts you can’t return - like insults and unwanted advice and questions that cross boundaries.
Sure, the Christmas season is painted as one of joy and wonder, but what do we do when we aren’t joyful or full of wonder?
What do we do when we are tired?
Overwhelmed
Sad?
Depressed?
Anxious?
… Over it?
Recently I have been receiving messages on Instagram from followers and friends who are dreading the holiday season.
Some mention struggles with mental health.
Some mention canceling plans.
Some mention wanting life to just speed up and for it be 2023 already.
As I read these messages I can’t help but think just how heavy and fragile this life is.
I know, this life is also a gift, but that doesn’t make it any easier, even during the most merry time of the year.
Maybe we need to acknowledge (once again) this life is difficult and weird and more than we thought it would ever be.
Most days I find myself wondering what’s going on here, because most days I just don’t know.
It’s all loud.
It’s all confusing.
It’s all uncertain.
On top of this, there is always something else that seems to get in the way of a breakthrough or peace or rest.
Maybe it’s the internet or too much sugar.
Maybe I’ve said yes to too many things.
Maybe it’s the weather or comparison or something I need to unpack with a counselor.
Maybe the pandemic did more damage than I thought it did.
I know coffee helps.
I know dogs help.
I know Jesus helps.
I know writing helps.
I know the sunshine helps.
I know friends and family help.
But what helps doesn’t always erase or replace the pain or questions or noise.
There isn’t a trick or switch to flip that will make everything better, but there is something.
Something that has always been and something that will always be.
Hope.
There has always been hope.
I know, you aren’t surprised I’m bringing this up.
Hope is the magic ingredient for living.
And this is the time of year when we remember that hope comes to us.
Not by accident.
Not by chance.
Not by pity.
But out of love - hope comes to us.
And isn’t it wild how it begins?
Born to a virgin in a manger.
A silent night that was far from silent.
The Son of God enters into the heaviness and offers us himself - he who is our hope.
He doesn’t tell us everything will be merry and bright, but he does show us that in and through him everything will be made right.
There will still be questions.
There will still be unknowns.
There will still be hurt.
There will still be … well, you fill in the blank.
But there will also be hope.
And hope - as I am coming to believe - is the full assurance that God is present.
God is with us.
He is our hope.
And hope changes everything.
Podcast by Tanner Olson.
Follow the Walk A Little Slower Podcast for more episodes.
Tanner Olson is an author, poet, speaker, and podcaster living in Nashville, Tennessee.
He is the author of I’m All Over the Place, As You Go, Walk A Little Slower, and Continue: Poems and Prayers of Hope.
You can find Tanner Olson’s books on Amazon.
His podcast is The Walk A Little Slower Podcast with Tanner Olson and can be found wherever you listen to podcasts.
Tanner Olson travels around the country sharing poetry, telling stories, and delivering messages of hope.
You can follow Tanner Olson on Instagram (@writtentospeak) and Facebook where you’ll daily find encouraging words of faith and hope.