Just Happy To Be Here
Most mornings I snap a photo of my coffee and draw a smiley face on the warm, black surface.
After I draw the smiley face I write the words,
“just happy to be here”
somewhere on the screen.
Or JHTBH.
I push send and now the internet knows I am just happy to be here.
And most days, I am just happy to be here.
But if we are being honest (and it’s probably good that we be honest), there are days when I am not happy to be here.
Life is heavy.
And hard.
And weird.
And fragile.
And unpredictable.
And frustrating.
And messy.
I have good days and bad days and days that exist somewhere in-between.
Between the ups and downs, questions and answers, bursts of joy and moments of misery, I’m beginning to step back and see the bigger picture.
Writing the words “just happy to be here”, is a reminder that I am here.
I am here.
Not forever, but for now.
Here, where not everything is far from perfect.
Here, where not everything is what I want it to be.
Here, where life is heavy and hard and messy.
But I am here.
Here where I can love and be loved.
Learn and teach.
Hope and dream.
Forgive and be forgiven.
Walk a little slower and breathe a little deeper.
And here is a good place to be.
I am just happy to be here.
Today, I am just happy to be here.
.. .. ..
Years ago, I was having one of those bad days.
One of those days where I didn’t want to be here.
One of those days where I was exhausted through and through.
I took the advice I had given to a girl who was in the youth group I helped lead a few years earlier.
She told me she was having a rough day and I suggested she make a list of all the things she loved.
And so I did the same.
The list turned into a poem titled, “A Poem About The Things I Love.”
The poem concludes with this:
“And for a moment I’m no longer stressed out
or bummed out,
I’m just happy to be here.
With you,
I’m just happy to be here.”
And today, I am.
I’m just happy to be here.
.. .. ..
With hope,
Tanner Olson
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